A Day in the Life of Alyssa

 

There is no manual for how a person is suppose to live their life. If there was then God would have given it to us on the day we were born. Instead, he gave us the freedom to make our own choices, figure things out for ourself, make mistakes, learn in the way that works for us, allows us to interact with whoever we want, to live life in the way we choose, and to be our own person. "There is no right or wrong way of living life; it just is." I have no clue who wrote this quote, but I find that it fits into our life  very well with us having the freedom to go about each day being our own unique self. As I think about it more and more I start to wonder what it would look like to live a day in the life of Alyssa?

In this blog, I will cover what the best way to live life is, dig into my spiritual side, provide a preview of my authentic self daily routine, and discuss some tips that I have found interesting in which I have personally used in my life. 

What is better than living a life as a disabled person?

Living life as a disabled person has to be one of the greatest expiriences, in my opinion. I know that you guys are probably thinking I have completely lost my noodle, but let me explain my reasoning.  Ever since I was a little girl I had the type of  personality that allowed me to figure out how to have fun whether I was in the hospital or at home with taking an easy due to a surgery or  coming out of one of my many seizures, being determined to do what it took to work towards my healing or growth, and always had a positive outlook towards life that allowed me to never give up when things got hard. As I write this post I think back to the many events I have experienced whether good or bad and feel totally blessed that I am getting the opertunity to live this life as a disabled person because yes it has been challenging sometimes but it has allowed me to overcome many challenges, think in a different way, and go about life expiriencing things from a different point of veiw than what I would be able to if I were able to fully use my body. 

The mysterious personality

I have always had the type of personality that was different from other people. The best way to describe it is mysterious because it is like I have multiple personalities that blend together into one. Growing up I loved to live in the moment by not focusing on what happened in the past or worrying about what is in store for me in the future. I was kind everywhere I went, worked hard at everything I did, loved a good laugh,and was very outgoing with never wanting to sit still; but I was also quiet, tend to stay to myself, am super sensitive to the different energies that came off people, and most of all enjoyed spending time with my family rather than with other people.

The hidden lessons in life's challenges

As I got older, my physical challenges of having seizures and going through many different surgeries went away which allowed my to be more active, but then some mentle challenges started appearing into my life when my family started arguing with one another. Whether it was my sister;Audrey arguing with my parents or my parents arguing with each other; it always seemed like there was a war going on between them with me being the odd ball. Although I kept a positive attitude, still loved living in the moment, and worked on my personal growth it became really hard like it was the ultimate test to see if I could handle all the stresses of the constant arguing, walking on eggshells when there wasn't fighting, not feeling like part of a family with not really feeling like I had a strong relationship with any of them, and dealing with having to decide on what I wanted to do for a career after I got out of school. At the time we really didn't know what to do with our current situation, so we relyed on our instincs which normally meant that my parents would engage in arguing with Audrey and I would stay out of it and let them figure it out for themselves. 

This was a challenging time in my life; even more so than dealing with all of my physical challenges between the surgeries and my seizures. Towards the beginning when all the arguing first started, I would end up finding someplace to escape all the negative energy by either going outside, going to my room, or putting noise cancelling ear buds in and playing music while trying not to cry or when I did I tried to calm myself down while I waited for the arguing to stop. Then after a while all the arguing was so consistent with being every other day, if not everyday that it seemed to just be the new normal that it didn't effect me as bad as it had in the beginning. Even though I wasn't directly involved with all the arguing, I took what I expirenced from each of the situations when I couldn't escape all the negativity and started taking just three deep breathes to help me stay calm instead of just breaking into tears; which helped a lot when I felt like I had no where or no one else to turn to at the time. After a while I learned

•  that we all have the freedom to make our own choices,
•  I don't have to be effected by how they choose to respond to a situation 
• I am the only one who can make me happy. No one else.
• I am my own person and I can do what feels right to me

Once I got these things in my head I started feeling calmer, had the motivation to do things again, and started enjoying more of my life again. The real change for me though didn't truly start until I discovered spirituality.

Welcome to my spiritual side

I can't speak for my family, but for me getting into spirituality was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. It was the moment that my world changed forever.  From the very beginning when my family decided to go see a medium a few weeks after Audrey's death; we made an appointment with her and only gave her our names to see what comes up when we meet her. Before we went to see her we were sceptic that she would actually be able to talk to Audrey, but by the end of the session we turned into a believer. As we went through the session she started off by telling us what will happen in the session and then jumped right into connecting to Audrey by raising her vibration to the level Audrey was at in order to communicate with her. From the beginning she could see that Audrey was in the room with us as started relaying messages, events,and memories to us as Audrey spoke. The medium asked us questions for clarification on some of the things Audrey was showing her which was all things that were very specific to events that happened at different parts of each of our lives from the time all of us where young to the present moment at the time. The moment I will always remember is when she came straight out of dead silence as she was contrating with keep the connection and asked if Audrey and I had a secret language for communicating with each other. My face lit up red as I laughed due to the fact that I had forgotten that memory until she mentioned it. I looked at her and said " yes, we created it when we were younger." My mom let's out a chuckle and replies " I never new that" before the medium continued with the session. This moment is something I will never forget for as long as I live and by experiencing her being able to talk to Audrey after death was the point were I needed to know more which jump started my spiritual journey.

Meditating to a better me

Since that day, I have done research on mediums, spirituality, life after death, personal developement, and living an authentic lifestyle, but haven't even come close to knowing everything there is to know about the overall topic of spirituality. At the beginning of my journey I started with practicing meditation since everything I had read online mentioned it on different sites I visited. This was a bit challenging at first; not really with finding a guided meditation that I liked, but with the fact that my monkey brain kept wondering to different things I either had to do or wanted to do that day.  I began with short guided meditations for a few weeks, so I could work on calming my monkey brain and then increased the time I spent meditating by 10 minutes every couple of weeks as I got comfortable with calming my brain for the amount of time I put in the search bar for a guided meditation. After a while I was able to do an hour or more meditation without my brain wondering around. 

This allowed me to feel

• Calmer
• Happier
• Less stressed
• Motivated
• Centered
• Focused
• More energetic
• Refreshed
• Less depressed
• And a lot more

After a while I had mastered the mind by keeping it focused on the present moment of doing guided meditations, just meditation music, and complete silence that I felt like I was ready to add something else to my daily routine

The wonders of Reiki

My mom was the one who introduced me to Reiki after she discovered it online as a healthy way of coping with Audrey's death. As she read more and more on it she had a deep connection with it and decided to take a reiki coarse online through Udemy to teach herself how to do Reiki. Going through the coarse it taught her everything she needed to know about doing a Self Reiki session, In-Person Reiki session, and a Distance Reiki session in which my dad and I were her test monkeys. Every other weekend she would do an in-person reiki session on both of us ,so she could heal while practicing in a comfortable environment as we reserved the healing benifits as we went through the session. On the other weekends when she wasn't doing in-person sessions on us, she would practice doing distance sessions on us where she would have us lay down in our recliners in our living room while she was upstairs sending us reiki energy through her reiki doll.

After a while, she had practiced hard and felt like she was ready to open up sessions to family and friends which made  her schedule even more busy with teaching during the day and doing sessions during the evening and weekends that she decided to teach us how to do self reiki on ourselves so we didn't have to wait for time to open up in her schedule to give us a session. Reiki is one of those things things that you have to experience for yourself, but I will tell you that it is an experience that you will remember forever. When my family started doing a self reiki session together as a group each night before bed I felt a complete change within my body over time along with some of the sensations that I noticed when my mom did sessions on me. These sensations where just as powerful; if not more powerful due to the fact that all three of us were doing reiki at the same time. Some of what I experienced includes;

• Tons of energy flowing through the body
• Intense tingling going through your body 
• Heat coming from your hands ( if you are doing the session by yourself) or from the hands of the person you are getting the session from.
• A change in energy
• And a lot more

I will go more in depth about Reiki next week in my post titled " Wait! I Can Heal Myself Through Energy".

My Authentic Self Daily Routine

Going through this spiritual journey has taught me a lot about different technics of naturally healing myself, allowed me to get in a good spot, and has depend my relationship with my family and God, but the biggest thing I found really stood out to me was learning about how to live a life as my authentic self.

What does it mean to me to live an authentic life?

 In a way, I have always lived my life as my authentic self with accepting my disabilities for what they were, not letting others influence me into doing something that wasn't right for me, living my life in my own way without caring about what others thought, being true to myself, and going about each day as my own unique self. I will ammit that sometimes I would loose my true self by doing things like

• Telling little lies when I was younger over silly things 
• Going through at least 100 different career choices in order to choose one to answer a question even though I knew I didn't want to do that career the rest of my life instead of just saying " I don't know yet."
• Getting into a situation that I didnt really enjoy, but stay with it just to have something to do while I figured out what I truly wanted to do in life.

Looking back at these events in my life, yes they were small events compared to what other people may experience in their life where I lost my authentic self; but like any other challenges I have faced in my life, I treated it as a learning experience of what doesn't work for me and ended up finding my authentic self again.

Living an authentic life looks different for everyone, but how does one know if they are living their best authentic life?

10 personality traits of a person who is truly living an authentic life

Not everyone is born with just knowing what they want to do in life. For a while I had a small idea of what I wanted to do in life, but didn't really know how all the pieces would fit in the puzzle. Some things that helped me rediscover my authentic self by;

1. Going within to find the answers
2. Not judging other people by their actions
3. Living in the present moment
4. Work towards achieving long term goals
5. Being myself no matter what others think of me
6. Being open-minded to different topics, situations,and opinions while listening to learn instead of listening to reply.
7. Learning to be consistant with holding yourself accountable for your actions, not letting other things or people get in your way, and being dedicated to a direct path that you know you want to do without flip flopping back and forth.
8. Being honest no matter what
9. Being respectful to ourselves and others
10. Having the courage to be ourselves

Digging in Deeper

Going within to find the answers was the first step in rediscoving my authentic self.  By going within through meditation, reiki, and journaling out the information that came to me; I was then able to answer the questions I had about myself, discover my interests, and figure out which one of those interests I could make into a career. As I did this, I found out that I had big interests in writing, being outdoors, and learning on my own schedule. From there I started working on not judging others by their actions. This process was not really a challenge for me because I have never been the type of person to judge. Instead, I recognize that everyone is going to make mistakes at one point or another including me; but all I can do is control myself and make the decision to learn from my mistakes. As I continued through the process of rediscovering my authentic self I started getting back into living in the moment. This was a little tricky at first because it is a natural instinct to want to fast forward to thinking about the future or rewinding to the past while thinking of the things I did or didn't do in a situation and what I could have done differently to change the outcome of a situation. The thing is though,is that I have already lived in the past and the future doesn't exist yet, so it doesn't really make since to focus my time and energy on something that has or hasn't happened yet. Really the only thing I have control over is the present moment. In this step I forgave my past of anything I did or didn't do in a situation that wasn't the best for the highest good of everyone involved and started thinking in a way of what can I do now to shape my future. Although being an authentic person means living in the present moment; I still worked towards my long term goals. Being an authentic person is about knowing what I want to do in life and then doing what it takes to achieve that goal which is why I found step 1 to be so important. Like I said earlier in this post and in some of my previous posts I talked about how I grew up with having an idea of what I wanted to do and that I would do amazing things with my disabilities; but just didn't have the whole puzzle put together yet. At one point when I was younger I had told myself I wanted to be an author,but originally turned it down due to my ego getting in the way and it telling me that  no one would read my books. For a while during my teenage years I spent time searching career options, but nothing felt authentic to me as it did with writing.  Once I did some soul searching and figured out that writing was the biggest thing that was authentic to me  I did some thinking on how I could also use my disabilities which is when I came up with the idea of wanted to do Alyssa-bilities. This decision felt authentic to me with it being something I could see myself doing for my career that allowed me to do the biggest thing I love to do which is writing while using my disabilities in which I sat downd to write my first introduction blog and took a leap of faith by posting it on Facebook before I let my ego get in the way.  From this point in the journey to my authentic self I did a lot of growing to get me to the point I am at and now it is time to be myself no matter what others think of me.  Living life as an authentic person I don't think can happen until we learn to be ourselves. This just came naturally for me from the time I was a little girl. I go about life in a way that allows me to show my personality, be funny, and curious without caring what others think of me. For some this can be really challenging to accomplish. It is a matter of building up the courage to take the steps to being yourself which I will  discuss more in step 10. With learning everything there is to know about living an authentic life one of the biggest characteristics of a truly authentic person is that we are open-minded to different topic, opinions, and situations.  By being open to expiriencing different situations and talking to others about a variety of topics from a different point of view allows for oppunities of learning, making friends, and exploring other possibilities. Another thing I find to be really important with living life in this way is to be consistent with holding yourself accountable for your actions, not letting other things or people get in your way, and being dedicated to a direct path that you know you want to do without flip flopping back and forth. With learning how to live life in an authentic way it is about honesty and I think holding ourselves accountable for our actions is the best way to be authentic. From a early age I learned that lieing never got me anywhere, so I decided that it was better to just tell the truth always. Also, with holding ourselves accountable we are more likely to continue to work towards completing our goals. Not all of living an authentic life is about what transformations we make to within ourself; but it also depends on how we treat others. I have always been a super sweet soul and treat everyone with kindness no matter who they are or how they treat me. Everywhere I go I stand strongly by the golden rule; treat 

others the way you would like to be treated. The last step to living an authentic life is to have the courage to be ourselves.  I find this step to really wrap up the process of living an authentic life, but it is probably the hardest step of them all. In order to really be successful in living an authentic life is to apply and consistently practice each step. 

My Authentic Self Daily Routine

Once I took the time to learn, go through, and practice these steps; I started seeing a big change in the way I felt, the energy in the room around me, and enjoyed everything I have taught myself during this time that I wanted to continue to expand on my learning. Although this is really good information, unless we practice it on a regular basis; it won't be truly helpful to us which is why I created my own authentic self daily routine.

• 6:30- Wake up
• 7:00-  Do a full length self reiki treatment
• 7:45-  Do a 30 minute meditation
• 8:15- Take care of dogs
• 8:30- Eat breakfast
• 9:00- Read
• 11:00- Work on Alyssa-bilities 
• 12:30- Eat Lunch
• 1:30- Go for a walk 
• 3:00- Do brain strengthening puzzles
• 4:00- Familytime
• 5:00- Eat Dinner
• 5:45- Clean up
• 6:15- Familytime
• 8:45- Do full length reiki session
• 9:30- Take Care of dogs
• 10:00- Bedtime

This is roughly what my authentic self daily routine looks like as it includes everything I love to do in like to do in life. I try to follow this routine, but sometimes it can be challenging when adulting gets in the way. Transforming our lives doesn't just happen over time; the key is to keep practicing. When I first started this routine; I was sticking to it each day which made me feel balanced, successful, and energetic; but as soon as I stopped doing it each day I felt a big difference where I was more sluggish, didn't feel like my day was successful, and felt a little loss by not being balanced.

Other tips that really work

Going along this spiritual journey has been really great experience. Just when I think I have come close to learning everything there is to know about spirituality; I end up finding new things to help improve my routine. Some of these things include;

• Sitting straight up either in a chair or with legs crossed on a bed to help you go deeper into the session
• Try to make your mediation and/or reiki area in a dedicated spot where you won't do any other activities to help you focus souly on your session 
• Turn off all distractions like your notifications on your phone, music that you are not using for your session, and background noise like a TV to help you stay focused

I have personally tried these three tips with both my reiki and meditation sessions and have had amazing results with feeling stronger sensations during reiki, getting more in tune with my body during a meditation, and staying focused with only having the nessesary noise playing at the time.

To Conclude

My life isn't perfect; if anything it has been a

fun and crazy experiment. Come to think of it though, who's life is truly perfect? God gave us the freedom to figure things out for ourselves,make our own choices, make mistakes,and to live life how we choose instead of telling us how to live life through a manual. If you had just one day to live your best authentic self; what would you do with your day?

Learning Through the Eyes of a Disabled Person

"Learning isn't about how much knowledge you can gain within a period of time; it's about the skills that you develop throughout the journey." This quote came to me when I sat down one morning this week to do a Reiki session with my mom. As I sat there contemplating on what this quote could mean or how it  could be related to my life and the lives of others, I came to a realalization. All of our lives are one big journey from the time we are born to the time we take our last breath in our physical body and within each journey there are many different learning experiences that we will encounter as we go through life. This got me thinking about the different ways of learning and I started asking myself the question of what learning looks like through the eyes of a disabled person?

In this blog, I am going to talk about  the different approaches of learning,my learning experience, and other learning opptunities that have found that has worked for me.

  

The four approaches to learning

There are many different ways to learn a new topic. No two people are the same, so why should their learning be exactly the same? There are four main approaches or categories that we each prefer to use during our moments of learning. These include;

• Visual learners
• Auditory learners
• Kinesthetic learners
• Reading/Writing learners

Visual Learners

What is a visual learner?

People who are visual learners thrive on using pictures, diagrams, be shown how to do a certain task, and have to have the instruction where they can analysis it as they complete their work.  These learner are the ones who like to

• Doodle
• Make lists
• Take notes

Characteristics of a visual learner

Some characteristics of this type of learner include;

• Seeing to learn
• Likes images
• Take really good and detailed notes
• Looks around to find something to watch or look at when you lose interest
• Struggles with spoken directions because it's hard to remember them a short time later

Helpful tips for visual learners

Unfortunately, you won't always be in a situation that acommadates visual learners, so how can you still be succesful with your learning when you are put in a situation that is different than the way you normally complete tasks some tips that can help you in these type of situation include; 

• Watching or observing what others are doing. Learning through videos may be the easiest way for you to receive the information.
• Try to visualize something that goes along with what you hear someone telling you that will help you remember the directions.
• Write down key words, ideas, or instructions especially if they are given to you orally.
• If allowed, try using drawings, mind maps,or flow charts to help you understand and remember new concepts.
• Color, highlight, circle, or underline important information to help you get an idea of what you to focus on.

Auditory Learning

What is an Auditory learner?

The next learning approach is called auditory learning which is what it sounds like in the name. These types of learners thrive by collaborating and listening to other people.

Characteristics of an auditory learner 

Some ways you can tell if you are an auditory learner is if you

• Learns through listening
• Can remember conversations easily 
• Likes to listen to other people talking and remember the information they give you over taking notes.
• Likes to listen to music
• Have good communication skills which allows you to talk to people easily
• This would make you a good presenter or speech people
• Tend to be a chatterbox when you get bored with the information being taught
• Struggle with getting distracted by noise
• Tend to read slower
• Find diagrams hard to understand

Helpful tips for auditory learners

I find people who learn through listening to others and being able to recall the information they relay to you quite fascinating. Some helpful tips that can help you in prove your learning and get you through any situation includes;

•  Watching other people and adopting visual learners approach. you may have to rely on looking at diagrams, different charts, and reading written instructions.
• Try reading the content out loud to yourself to help remember the information.
• Repeat the information to yourself over and over again as a chant to help you remember the information.
• Jioning a group of people who are learning the same content as you and callaberate by get different ideas, asking questions to help you better learn the information.
• Attend a Q&A session
• Avoid noise by going into a quiet space away from people when possible

Kinesthetic Learners

What is a Kinesthetic learner?

Are you the types of person who likes to be physically active and use your hands in order to learn? If so, you may be a kinesthetic learner. These type of people learn best by moving around, using their hands, and figuring out how to do things as they go, rather than sitting still for a long period of time listening to a full on teaching.

Characteristics of a Kinesthetic learner

These individuals can be pointed out in any class or situation by their personalities. When you like to work with your hands certain traits will come out which includes;

• Moves to learn
• Probably love sports
• Like hands-on activities such as building, drawing, and moving around rather than sitting still.
• Likes to figure out things for yourself
• You learn best and remember it better  by physically doing something for yourself.
• You may get fidgity if you sit for way too long or something is getting boring.
• One of your struggles could be sitting still for a long period of time while trying to pay attention.

Helpful tips for Kinesthetic learners

In my opinion, this has to be one of the hardest approaches to learning. I couldn't imagine being in a public school and trying to learn in this way. Luckily for these wiggle worms there are some helpful tips that can help improve their learning. These can include, but are limited to

• Trying to find training or learning opportunities that uses examples and case studies to explain different concepts. This can help with remembering information.
• Sharing what you have learned about a certain topic can actually help you remember that information by teaching others.
• Getting active by role playing, problem solving, or some other activity can help with taking in the information that you are learning.
• Adding movement to study sessions like moving your pencil around in your hand, squeeze a ball, or shaking your foot can allow you to still move in some sort of way while helping you stay focused on your work.
• Scheduling short study sessions and then taking a small break in between study sessions is a great way to still get your work done without sitting there for a long period of time. By doing this, you know that the dedicated time you set for studying is for sitting down and working hard then the short break inbetween each session is for getting your energy out.

Reading/Writing Learners

 What is a Reading/Writing learner?

I never really preferred this approach to learning, but some people thrive as a reading/writing learner. For these type of people they prefer being handed a text book, given their assignment , and sit down to read directly from a book while writing out notes in a notebook of what they learned. 

Characteristics of a reading/writing learner

Although this seems to be a pretty simple approach to learning there are still some ways that they can stand out from the crowd.  These traits include;

• Studing to learn 
• Loves to reading on free time
• Prefers reading to themselves or to others over other people reading to them
• Can stay interested in the traditional learning method
• Struggles to take in all the information if you don't have a pen and paper
• Struggles to understand diagrams 

Helpful tips for reading/writing learners

With this being more of a traditional approach to learning it seems to be pretty straight forward when it comes to getting your work done. Here are some tips to help you get more out of your learning.

• Whenever possible try to read any content on your own even if you have to read it again after working with others. This will help you remember and recall what you read easier.
• Taking organized and detailed notes will be super helpful when learning new topics. My favorite method for taking notes is 2 collum notes where you have your topic in the left collum and the information or details in the right collum. There are also a ton of other methods to taking notes, it just depends what method you prefer.
• It's always a good idea that when you are finish writing your notes that you rewrite them to help get the information in your brain. Normally, at least to me the first time I take notes I am trying to get the important information down on paper that I don't really remember all the information I learned. By taking the time to rewrite your notes will helps your brain recall all that information as you write it out.
• Personalizing your notes is a good way to remember the information you are learning. As you write out your notes try to put the information in your own words instead of copying the information straight from the book. If you put it in your own words and in a way that you normally talk then it will be a lot easier to still get the information you need from the text while easily remembering what you read.
• If you have a hard time learning the information when it is in a diagram form then translate it by putting it in a format that you can understand. There's no since in struggling to learning in a format that is not easy for you when you can easily tweek it to fit your liking.

What type of learner are you? For me, when I look at these different approaches to learning I find myself falling under the categories of being a visual learner, an auditory learner, and a kinesthetic learner which allows me with multiple ways of learning, but got a little challenging during my school years.

My Learning Experience

I have always been the type of person who enjoyed learning whether it was in school or during my free time. During the time I started kindergarten through the time I finished my fourth grade year I went to public school. It was nice to learn and interact with other kids throughout the week, but it was also challenging sometimes. 

The time I spent learning in a public school

Each year, I struggled with not understanding what was being taught due to my learning gap, always felt like I was trying to pay ketchup as I tried to keep up with the rest of my class, and flip flopping back and forth with one year having a teacher that would make the time to work with me on the content that I was having trouble with to help me understand it with over all achieving our goal we set of getting me on grade level by the end of that school year. Then, as I went back to school that following August I would end up with a teacher that was the complete opposite from the teacher I had the previous year.

The breaking point for my family was during my fourth grade year when I got a teacher that didn't make time to sit down with me when I asked if I could have some help with the topics I didn't understand, didn't do much to help me, knew I was trying my hardest; but left me sitting there in class to struggle my way through work I didn't understand, and underestimated what I could really do. Then during one of the parent teacher conferences my parent addressed yet again that I was struggling with the work,  that they were helping me at home the best they could, and that both my parents and I have asked for help, but have been rejected each time. At that point my teacher was so closed minded that she basically gave up on me and told my parent that she didn't expect me to be able to do the work since I was special needs. From that point my parents felt it was unfair for me to have to continue struggling in this way and started doing some research on other options for schooling. By the end of that year they had discovered K12; a online school program in which they talked to me about and asked if I wanted to switch to that school? As soon as I said "yes" my mom started the enrollment process on their website for the next school year. My fourth grade year was my last school year in a public school and was also the point my learning experienced changed forever.

The wonders of learning through K12

Starting K12 was way different than what I was use to when I was learning in a public school and took a little bit to get use to working at home. With K12 I had an online teacher that answered questions when they came up, graded submitted work through the prebuilt craiculum, and assist in the learning process when needed with my mom being my main teacher which was awesome. This allowed me to 

• revisit topics that I didn't understand from the previous years
•  provided me with one on one help on course work and assignments 
•   Have the flexibility to create my own schedule with the order I wanted to do each topic as long as I got all the daily work done the same day it is assigned in the program
• allowed me to learn wherever I wanted. Sometimes we did school at  Starbucks, other times we wouldgo out to lunch and did  schoolwork at therestraunts while our food was being cooked, would go to the library to get a change of scenery, or went to the park on warm days to do school, so we weren't cooped up inside on a beautiful day.
• I could work at my own paise
• There was no set school hours like they have in public schools. When I finished my daily work in each topic for that day, I was done and could spend the rest of the day doing what I wanted to do.
• I could spend 30 minutes before school learning cursive with my mom
• I was able to stay on my iEP and tweaked it to fit that school system requirements

It was nice to be learning in an environment where I didn't have to worry about trying to keep up with the rest of the class, ask for help on something and not get it, constantly falling into the visious cycle of getting on grade then not being on grade level, or having a teacher that gives up on me. I was just able to focus on what I needed to work on to get me back to being on grade level and staying there each year that followed with the help from my mom.

Schools are just not the same anymore

I stayed with K12 for all of my fifth grade year and which really helped me get on grade level and then switch to an online hybrid school when my special Ed teacher we met through K12 transferred there at the beginning of sixth grade year. This was a school that was built for kids like me who struggled with learning in the traditional classroom. Through this school all of my work was still online, but two days I would go into the classroom to learn and interact with the other students through small class sizes while still having all the benefits I had through K12. I stayed at this school through the end of middle school where I was awarded with being math student of the year and decided to keep going to that school through the end of highschool. Sadly though, at the beginning of my ninth grade they decided to change their views and started going downhill with changing a fun little school that allowed only a certain number of kids in at a time to keep class sizes small and to allow for one on one help from the teacher on work, and the vision of helping these kids in need who wasn't thriving in a traditional classroom to a school that let so many kids in to get more money, wanted more A and B students than the ones who where struggling, had huge class sizes, new teachers each year due to teachers leaving from all the changes, and was no longer able to get one on one help in the building.  Luckily by the time it completely changed  I was already a senor in highschool taking electives online since I already had all my credits for graduation and barely went into the build besides for my IEP meetings. After I had been out of the building for basically a year I would look around and  they had all new staff except for my Special Ed teacher who moved to being the Social Studies teacher which I couldn't really rely on anymore like I was able to in the previous years for help on work, added so much work to the students daily schedule in each topic,started stressing the kids out about their work when they fell behind some due to the work load, and basically made a school that worked really well into another public school which we were trying to avoid in the first place and thought this isn't the school that I once  thrived in anymore.

One thing I would recommend to people who choose to go to an online approach is to choose a format like K12 where it would be harder for them to change their view of how they want their school to run. Seeing such a wonderful school changing from being for kids who couldn't thrive in a regular school to a school that wanted higher grade students instead and stressing them about their work just broke my heart to watch it change in that way.

Going to a building to learn is overrated

After graduation I had planned to go to the local college where I was going to start studying to be a Photo journalist, but decided that I didn't really want to do that as a career and unenrolled from my classes a week before the start date after talking to my parents about it. They were fine with it  as long as I did something where I wasn't  just sitting around all day not doing anything productive.

 From that point I started getting into reading, drawing, did mind puzzles, got meoe in depth with my spiritualality, exercise, and practiced math each day to keep up with my skills. I had a good schedule that was fun and gave me something to do during the day, but as a month past I felt like there was more I could be doing with my time. I did some research online to see what different things were out there for learning opportunities that I could do at home and found two sites that I have started using and absolutly love. These sites include;

• Duolingo, a language learning program
• Udemy, a site full of different classes you can take online

More about Duolingo

Duolingo has been one of the best sites I have found to help me learn spanish. It is  the type of site that let's you choose from a number of different languages, has short mini lessons broken down by topic for easy learning, listening/speaking exercises, books, pod casts, and different tests to check your progress. Although it is a free site, there are some options to pay for unlimited hearts which is what you use to go through each lesson, but I don't do the paid version since it is basically the same as the free version and I can take tests to fill up my heart bank to continue learning. 

More about Udemy

This site was really useful in learning a variety of different topic from classes you would normally learn in a public school to topics like meditation, reiki, and a number of other topics under the category of spiritualality. It was on this site that I took a personal development class and where Alyssa-bilies was born. It is a paid site where you pay for each class you want to take through the site.

To Conclude

There are many different ways that you can learn within the community or on your own. Some people thrive in a tradition classroom, choose to go to college, and know exactly what they want to do with their life, but for others they thrive in more of a flexible environment, choose to not go to college, and learning in a way that works for you. There is no right or wrong way to learn in this world. Life is filled with a bunch of  learning experiences that you will encounter in your lifetime, but the important thing to keep in mind is that you can do anything you want to as long as you keep learning and growing.       

Not Again! Injuries and Disabilities

 

 "Not Again!"   I bet this is one of the most common phrases that parents say to their kids all over the world. I bet your parents probably even said it to you as a kid. Injuries are going to happen no matter what at one point or another in your child's life. Its part of being a kid; they go outside to play, get hurt to some degree whether it be small cut or something more serious like a broken arm, they take time to heal, and repeat the same process again. The thing is though, how does a parent handle the situation when it is their disabled child that gets hurt?

In this blog, I am going to share my experience, the importantance of pushing through the pain, and different equipment I have used to get around during the healing process.

My Experience

 Being outdoors is the biggest thing that powers my life; without it I am like a wild horse that is locked up in a stall with no where to go. When I look around at the majority of the generation of kids that are being raised in this day and age I see more of them staying inside as their parents place them in front of a TV , tablet, or their cellphone to keep them entertained or act as a babysitter so their parents can do what they want without being interrupted. Then on top of that, my family recently descovered a program that you can send your child to and pay other people to teach your kid how to ride a bike.This just breaks my heart because not only are kids not playing outside, but they don't know how to interact with other kids in person, they don't get to make memories with their parents, they don't know what the feeling of being bored feels like, or what it is like to truly be a kid. 

As a kid I couldn't seem to stay out of the hospital or doctors offices. During my early years I  couldn't really help it with the several surgeries I had to straighten my eyes out; which only lasted a month after surgery then it would go back to the way it was before, a few surgeries to try and stop my seizures, a surgery to take the right side of my brain out, a surgery to replace my shunt that was due to an injury after I was hit in the head with a basketball at recess and didn't realize I broke it until my doctor told us during one of my check ups, a foot surgery to reconstuct my foot by moving the tendians around so that my foot was more straight instead of shaped like a J, a hand surgery to move the tendians around to allow my hand to not be stuck with my fingers touching the under side of my wrist, and a knee surgery in which was do to another injury when I rolled over on the trampoline and dislocated it. It originally took the doctors three attempts to put it back in as it kept popping out and finally had to have my dad help by holding it in place while they put a brace on it;  but ended up having surgery on it a few months later after it kept dislococating and relocating to the point that it just fell apart as soon as the doctor started working on it. The only way to keep my knee in place was to put screws, so they didn't have to do a knee replacement at 15. With all these surgeries  I have lost count, but I believe it equaled up to somewhere around a total of 16 surgeries.

If that wasn't enough of a struggle for my parents, I was and still am extremely outdoorsy, adventurous, and curious; which in itself was an injury waiting to happen. Just about anything you can imagine doing outside I have either done or tried at least once. With this I sprained my left wrist 3 times and sprained my right hand ( the only one I use) once that I can remember. My wrists must be made out of glass because each time was just a simple fall either due to me tripping over something, falling off of park equipment, or being the rule follower as I walked on the concrete and got nocked into by another kids who wasn't following the rules which caused me to fall onto my right hand and injure it. Clumsy me.😉

Today, I still very much enjoy being outdoors in the great world God created more than I will being inside. One thing I have come to realize about the world we live in is that parents with raise their kids how they choose to, kids will grow up in their own way, and the only thing you can control is how you choose to live your life. I will put it out there that over the last few years that when my family goes for hikes, bike rides, and weekend drives that I love seeing more and more people getting outside.

What is the best part of wearing a cast?

Through all of this though, there was only two good things that come out of getting injured and being stuck in a cast for several weeks. One, you get to choose the color(s) you want your cast to be and two, you get to come up with different stories to make it more interesting when telling other people.

Choosing the Color(s)

They didn't always have as many options for what color you could choose for your cast. Usually it was just the solid colors  of the rainbow in which I would choose purple since it is my favorite color when I would either sprain one of my hands or had a surgery that required a cast to keep a limb in place. 

It wasn't really until after I had my foot surgery when they took me out of my big bulky purple cast that they had me where for six weeks right after surgery when they started adding different colors and designs when the put me in a smaller cast they brought into the room so many colors, designs, and patterns that it was hard to choose. Spending some time to look at all my options I made the decision to go with little teddy bears holding a balloon for the three extra weeks in which I spent a total of nine weeks from the time I got out of surgery to the time I got out of my small cast without putting any weight on it. That was super hard sitting still for that long without getting up for more than a few minutes at a time. Although it was tough on me, my parents, and my sister ; at least I got to come up with fun stories as to how I got in a cast.

Story Time; How did you get in that cast?

When you get an injury it's never fun to just say what truly happened because it is normally something very small you did which is not very interesting to tell other people. Instead, it is more fun to make up an epic story that goes along with your injury that is way more interesting to tell other people when they ask. For example whenever I was in a cast I usually make up stories like I was was fighting ninjas instead of saying I tripped and fell on my wristi n a weird way or I will say I made a bear mad in which a got tossed around many times like a rag doll instead of my foot developed in a weird way that was shaped like the letter J which made it hard for me to walk long distances in a certain length of time.  In my opinion, I think by making up stories allows kids to use their imagination to make the best out of an unfortunate situation. Don't you think?

How to deal with an injury when your disabled child gets hurt

 What is living life to the fullest if you don't get dirty or injured once in a while. When my sister and I where younger we where the type of kids that would spend all day outside playing make- believe games, jumping on the trampoline before my accident, riding our bikes or scooters, and sometimes got some injuries. I don't know how many times my mom and dad would kiss our bruised knees or elbows better when we fell outside. In my opinion, I don't think a  parent handling a situation when their disabled child gets injured is very different than a parent handling a situation when their kid get injured that don't have disabilities. When I got hurt my mom treated it as she would with any other kid that came over for play dates. The only time I recall that my mom keep a close eye on me, not including my surgeries, but after getting injured while playing outside was when we were going on a family bike ride and we were speeding our way through the forest when we rode down a hill that was followed by a steep uphill climb. I was towards the front with my dad while my mom said back a little to help my sister get over the bumps as they came down the hills. Before I knew it I was squeezing on my breaks as hard as I would but they didn't stop my bike in time before I went up the steep hill that my dad had climbed to see what was on the other side. With no other choice since I was already about a third up the hill with my breaks not helping me very much; I contenued peddling not really hoping to go anywhere, but to at least keep me in place where I was at until mom or dad could get to me. Unfortunately, that didn't last very long as I lost the strength to continue to peddling at the speed that I was and started rolling backwards down the steep hill at high speeds towards my mom and sister who just got down the first hill. As fast as I was going the only thing they could do was get out of the way as fast as they could to not get hit by my bike I continued speeding backwards down the hill and ended up rolling backwards off a steep revean that was covered with rocks on the side of the trail we were riding on. I am not really sure what happened from the point I went off the side and landed at the bottomof the revean. I only recall opening my eyes a little as I tried to move, but couldn't with my bike laying on it's side and then when I sat on the ground after my parents somehow got me and my bike out of the revean. Thank goodness for helmet and that I was wearing one because from the fall my helmet had some cracks from hitting the rock that could have made the situation a lot worse if I wasn't wearing my helmet. Luckily with this incident, I only got a few bruises which hurt the rest of the day, but where healed the next day.

How to get around with during the healing process when you have disabilities

Normally when people get an  injury to their leg, they get around with crutches or a scooter type thing; but getting around isn't that easy when you have physical disabilities. Instead, we get around by sitting in a wheelchair while we are in a no weight baring  cast and then move into a walker when your allowed to apply pressure. How do you use a wheelchair or a walker with one hand? You may be asking yourself and that is a really good question. During the nine weeks I was in two non weight baring casts I spent a majority of my time being pushed around in my wheelchair by my parents when we went out into public and would sit in bed or on the couch when I was at home to prop my leg up. These nine weeks felt like it was never going to end with constantly sitting down, not really getting to play with my sister the way we liked to play, and having to be dependent on other people to get me things, help me get up to go to the restroom, or help me reposition myself and my pillow when I was uncomfortable. I am super greatful that I have such a loving family to support me, but with this surgery I wanted my independence back to do things on my own again and I have never wanted to get up to do something; really anything more in my life. It becomes really challenging when you are naturally independent, then something happens whether it be a surgery or an injury, and you have to become dependent on other until you heal. Do you agree? 

The day I moved from my wheelchair to a walker was probably one of the best days of my life. It felt nice to finally stand up, start putting pressure on my foot, and gaining back some of my independence. One of the nice things about living in a society that is becoming more and more advanced is that they started making medical equipment with features that make it easy for disabled people to use. My walker was one of those neat invention. Since I only use one hand, I would hold onto the walker with that hand and I would place the hand I don't use onto a rubber platform with a handle and strap it in to hold it in place. This allowed me to easily move the walker as I walked, was comforable and easy to use, and provided me with my independence to walk again. 

It wasn't as simple as just getting up and walking though; it took a lot of baby steps, determination, and most of all working through the painful moments.

The importance of pushing through the pain 

One of the most painful moments I can remember was first applying pressure to my foot nine weeks after surgery. My family and I just got home from running some errands and my mom was helping me walk into the house. As I walked up the driveway I went to take a step with my left foot in wich I stepped down harder than I had in the previous days. That hurt more than anything else I have experienced before that point in time. I lifted my foot up with tears in my eyes as I hop a few feet, but didn't fully cry. Although that was a painful, I considered it a blessing in a way because I got the first big painful step out of the way and from that point I was able to continue working on my big steps to in prove my walking. With pushing through the initial pain of putting all of my pressure on my foot or the first bend after spending a few weeks in a straight leg cast allowed me to excersise my injury and helped me heal faster than doctors expected.

Conclusion

Injuries will happen to your child at some point in their life; but that shouldn't stop kids from being who they are in life. The important part is to be brave, tough, and not giving up when things get hard. With all of my surgeries and injuries I have experienced in life I neve gave up, but instead put on a brave face and kept working towards my healing. This has comtributed to the strengths of my personality and I wouldn't change anything about how I live my life.

The Power Within Our Disabilities

We were all put on earth for a reason; a purpose I might add. Whether it be to become a professional sports player, assist others with their finances, or teach other; we all have a mission that we have come to earth to complete. A while back when I first embarked on my spiritual journey I learned that before we are born we sit down with God and basically plan out our entire life from who your family members are, who will be your friends, how long you will be visit earth for, the situations you will encounter, challenges you will face, and ultimately what you will be put on earth to accomplish. Later when we are born we forget everything we planed for in this trip to earth and have to rediscover what we came here to do. With this being said, why would anyone choose to live a life where they have disabilities and struggle their way through different challenges?

In this blog, I am going to discuss what makes us stand out from everyone else, what I think the purpose on earth is for the disabled community, and how you can unlock clues to what your purpose is here on earth. 

How we are the same; but yet different

I never really looked at disabled people as being different from the general public. Yes we may look, think, talk, walk, and learn differently than everyone else, but we function in the exact same way. Instead I would describe disabled people as being loving fearless worriors that march the earth both day and night as we slay away the challenges that life brings our way.  More recently, I have started noticing more and more people with disabilities getting out into the community with that I have also seen different characteristics come out in them that I don't really see too often in the general public. Some of these characteristics that are engrained in people with disabilities includes;

• Being a natural leader
• Being independent
• Being responsible
• Being respectful
• Being kind
• Being friendly
• Being trustworthy
• Being orginized 
• Being naturally calm
• Being understanding 
• Being satisfied easily
• Being a rule follower
• Having a naturally loving soul 
• Having a growth mindset 
• always caring about others
• Loves being a helping hand
• Is determined
• Never giving up
• Takes pride in everything they do
• Is a great communicater
• Is a great listener
• Is honest always
• Is adventurous 
• Doesn't really care what others think of them 
• Embraces their uniqueness
• And more

  A majority of these characteristics I inherited from my parents, but there are still other characteristics that would make this list even longer of different traits that also made up my personality when I was born.

What I think a disabled person's life purpose is on earth

From the time I was a little girl, I always felt like I had a strong connection with the universe and just didn't know it at the time. I have always had an unbreakable friendship with God,  never really understood the way the church taught us about God, felt safe/ protected all the time even when I was by myself, always had a deep knowing about different situations, thought in a different way than others, and never feared the unknown like other people do. As I got into my teen years I started getting the feelings of stress from the  school pushing us to decide on a career choice and then dealing with my sister's mental health that I got into a simple form of meditation to help manage the feelings I was feeling at the time.  Once I got to my adult years, it was like a complete 180 for my family and I when my sister's mental health got the best of her and she passed away. Even before the police told us that she passed away when we thought she just ran away, I had a deep knowing that she had already passed away when we drove around trying to find her; but ended up keeping the feeling to myself because I didn't want it to be true. Since that point, I have gotten really involved with spirituality and learned new ways to heal ourselves, learned went in deeper on this I have already been practicing without even realizing it, and a new way of viewing the world.

During the start of this new journey I did a lot of personal development and realized that what my purpose was in life was right in front of me the entire time and I was just over thinking it. Once I unlocked the clues to  figuring out that my life purpose was to write and empower other people through my life story things just started falling into place. No I don't make money writing posts each week on Alyssa-bilities; but you know what, I don't mind one little bit. Why? Because it combines two things I love to do; writing and helping others, brings a smile to my face each week knowing that by writting these posts I am making a difference in the lives of others even if it is just one person, and it also allows me to have the freedom to get out in nature whenever I want which is something that I enjoy most in life.  I think that if someone is doing something that thet truly love like I do with working on Alyssa-bilities then how much money we make doing that certain thing doesn't really matter because by doing what you love, having faith in God, and working on yourself will allow everything else to fall into place when the moment is right in your life.

I am not an expert with any stretch of the imagination because everyone is different and what works for me may or may not work for you. Only when you really think about it who is truly an expert in their field of work? I instead rely souly on guidance, intuition, and a little bit of help from my friend the Google. With this I find it makes my posts more original, relatable pervides more insight into different topics, and overall is more enjoyable to read. This week as I sat down trying to get guidance on what to write in my post; many things came to mind which I added into this post, but the biggest guidance I got was on the question of what is the purpose for a person with disabilities on earth?

As I analyzed this question I thought about my sister who had a mental disability and me with my physical disabilities which helped me developed my theory.  I don't think we truly have disabilities. Yes, we are physically or mentally different; but I think that the word disabled really is just a label that people use to describe somthing that they don't fully understand. When I look at  people with disabilities I see them as having a mysterious personality that allows them to do amazing things. On the outside we have our physical form, but when you start unpealing the layers there is a totally different world that is filled with the many abilities that are within our disabilities. This allows us to overcome the most challenging situations that pops up in our life that not many people would have the mental strength to continue working through the challenges. I believe by just living life in our own way and doing whatever makes you happy is what a person with disabilities life purpose is here on earth. By living in this way, you have the ability to live in the way you want to which will teach others that if you overcame your challenges of your disabilities to get to where you are now then they can do it in their life as well. Not everyone who has disabilities will teach other people the exact same thing, it will be different because each of us is different in our own way. For example, when my sister was here on earth to accomplish what she came here to do; she taught and helped so many people by showing them what it means to truly accept others, love them for who they are, and showed us a different way of looking at life. For me, I truly believe that part of my life purpose is to teach and help others by sharing my knowledge, showing love, understanding, and acceptance of others everywhere I go in life. The thing is though, is how do you figure out what your life purpose is in life?

How to unlock clues to your life purpose?

Finding your life purpose may seem a bit challenging at first, but it isn't really as hard as it may seem when you take the time to analysis it instead of over thinking it. One of the biggest things I have learned on my spiritual journey is that our life purpose is hidden in clues of what you experienced in your childhood. Things that can help you find out your life purpose includes looking into these different parts of your life.

• Your disabilities
• The challenges that you faced
• Hobbies
• Personality traits

These are a few things you can look into within your life that can help you find your life purpose. It may not be noticible right away,but as you find the clues things will just start falling into place.

To Conclude

There is great power that comes within our disabilities. We were put on earth for a reason and the clues will reveal themselves over time. You are a unique,loving, and wonderful person who is going to do wonders in this world.